With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
did you just send me my own nude
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
