and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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