The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
