Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
