I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
