I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
