I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize