I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
