tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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