I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
