I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
