Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
