Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
