You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
