I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize