The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
