guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
