yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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