So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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