Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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