Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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