So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
