Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
