Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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