Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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