I feel great
I just peed on a car
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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