You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
