Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
