if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
