Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
