ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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