Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
