He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
