you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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