When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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