Your mouth is God's brothel.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
