Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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