The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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