You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize