My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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