Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
