Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm always down for nudity.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
