we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
