Buhtt sex?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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