I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
These tits shall not be calmed
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
