I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
