Kareoke will never be a sober sport
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
