Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
