We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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