i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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