i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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