I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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