We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
