The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Randomize