Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
