Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
