office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
