Slut skills are useful in every country.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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