garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
