I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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