Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
