i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
