I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
