All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
