You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
