I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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