and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
