now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
