But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
