Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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